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Stark Raving Maddie

He’s a rowdy rotten laddie
They call stark ravin’ Maddie
The last time that I saw him
He was rollin’ away in a paddy wagon

They arrested him outside the pub
For bein’ an alcoholic
Beat him in the head with a billy club
‘Cause he kicked them in the bollocks

With a brick-like head and a heart of gold
Fists of lead and a whiskey soul

He’s the best of the worst of the lad’s I know
He’s stark ravin’ Maddie-o

And we’ll drink drink drink
And we’ll fight fight fight
And we’ll sleep all day
‘Cause we’re up all night
And we never get away
‘Cause we’re none too bright
But we don’t mind and that’s all right

I remember his last dewey
Leavin’ Seacoast Brewery
Headin’ for the harbor bridge
He parked his rig among the fishes

To celebrate St. Paddies day
We snuck him in some liquor
They added six months to his stay
But he said that night sure went quicker

Helena Hambasquey
Stole poor Maddie’s heart away
I remember the night she caught his eye
Standing there on her wooden leg

Her turkeys were perky, her biscuits round
Her hair a shade of summer

The only eye she had was brown
She didn’t even leave her number

But like all good things
They must end

Maddie joined the force
As a policeman

So just in case I’m ever stopped
By the biggest Irish cop you’ll ever see…

I keep a bottle of whiskey beneath my seat

‘Cause we’ll drink drink drink
And we’ll fight fight fight
And we’ll sleep all day
‘Cause we’re up all night
And we never get away
‘Cause we’re none too bright
But we don’t mind and that’s all right

With a brick-like head and a heart of gold
Fists of lead and a whiskey soul

He’s the best of the worst of the lad’s I know
He’s stark ravin’ Maddie-o