I Like Americans

I like Americans
They are so unlike the rest of the world
They do not take their politicians seriously
They go abroad to drink

Not to criticize
They claim that they are winning the war
But they know at heart that they aren’t
They have such respect for commerce
They like to live abroad
They do not brag about how they take baths
But they take them

Their teeth are so good
And they wear B.D.U.’s all the year round
I wish they didn’t brag about it.
They have the best nuclear arsenal in the world
But they never mention it

They would like to have Bill Gates for president
But they would never elect him.

They saw through Saddam
They have been promised by Obama.
Their celebrities have such funny habits
They are hard to suck in on the world
Their goods come from somewhere out there
They produced Google, Batman,

and Hip Hop
They do not hang murderers
They rescind their book deals
They watch the Daily Show
And believe in capitalism
When they make money
They make a lot of money
They are fine people