THIRTEEN AND A HALF BILLION

years ago the galaxy, let’s call her Granny G, is born.

That would make her about 54 years old in the HM 1300.

HM what?

Our history microscope, please keep up. The earth and the sun arrive 4.5 billion years ago, or 18 years ago using the metaphor. But let’s say the earth and the sun were born an equal amount of time before their

orbital relationship

so when the earth and sun got hitched they’re 18 years old.

like mother like daughter

No judgements please. It was a simpler time billions of years ago, pre-internet.

That makes the Sun and Earth both about 36 years old now through the lens of the HM 1300.

And so far in our family we now have Grandma Galaxy, or Granny G, her daughter Mama earth, let’s say Mama Matter, and then the earth’s fiery lover the sun, Papa Power.

you’re not getting a show anytime soon with this type of material

I’m pretty sure the science checks out, if not the

tortured metaphor

And let’s just ignore the fact that Papa may or may not have a whole mess of side chicks, including one he can’t figure out if he’s acknowledging anymore.