we’d never get laid if you hadn’t learned to chill the fuck out

So you’re the laid back cool me doing what seems to work for everyone else?

I’m whatever you need me to be buddy

I’m your rhetorical device

Then help me process that time we flew to Florida because our cuddle buddy we thought was our girlfriend tried to

commit suicide

borrowed $500 from matt the matt-matician to make that trip

And the look on her mom’s face when we showed up in that trailer park in Gainesville?

same look our own mom gave us when we made that comment about god and babies

We didn’t have all the pieces to the puzzle. And then it started

to come together

she’d driven out to cali w/dude then went back to florida w/him. we’d had a couple nights but this girl was double dippin’ that dipstick

above your paygrade soldier

top secret clearance