I wondered why we were building an embassy the size of Vatican City

in the middle of Iraq

I looked deeper into the 20th century. I read an economic history of Germany.

I encouraged my friend to go to law school. He told me how the State Dept came to talk to them about the legality of torture. I began and gave up on a book proposal about creating voting blocs based on identities. I went down untold online rabbit holes and downloaded media I can no longer access. I started editing more media.

I collected historic speeches

I started mixing these speeches to beats. I learned about the death of Lenny Bruce and the activism of Tupac Shakur. I set the words of 44 against those of

William Blum and Helen Thomas

I discovered JFK opposed what had become an American Empire. I created a form of truth I could carry with me.

I respected Kennedy more. I mourned Howard Zinn. I discovered Bill Hicks. I realized the current world order is dependent on lies children can unravel. I wondered what my role was in all of this.

I tried to heal myself